Howyman, I've kind of wrestled with this issue. I started visiting
AMPs about a year and a half ago, and found several regulars that seemed to give the best overall experience. I kept going back to those ones, and although the experience does get better as they get to know you, it's still a job for them and it still seems mechanical to a certain extent.
I find Asians ladies to be hot, but I don't have a thing for them the way some people here do, and I have a really hard time with the prevalence of 40+ year old ladies in the biz. They just don't get me going.
I've recently been visiting a few independent
FBSM providers, which in my personal opinion (some here would vehemently disagree, I think), deliver a more personalized and sensual/erotic massage experience which might be more of what you're looking for. They charge more, but I usually leave feeling like the dollars were a better deal.
Just my humble opinion.
PM me if you're looking for some names of ladies to try.