[b]I was watching “Glee” with my family the other night. Jane Lynch reminded me of someone and it took me back to 2004. Somebody by the name “Jo Smith” advertised in the Dallas Observer Classifieds (This was before I started using backpage.com) I was curious back then and called the number. We talked for awhile and she quoted me $100 for a full body massage. I do not know exactly what she said to convince me that a $100 massage was a good idea, but we made arrangements to meet later that day. (To jump ahead a little bit- later on, her DO ads were the same – same picture, same phone number- but she started using the name “Shirley McKay”. Since then I think of her as “Jo Shirley”) I drove to her in call, a house in Irving near 183 and Belt Line, not far from Irving Mall. Jo Shirley was an attractive woman in her 40's or early 50's (Think Jane Lynch). She was younger than me, but I remember thinking that for a younger man, 20's or 30's, this would be like getting a massage from one of his Mom's friends. She took my hand and led me to a small bedroom set up with a massage table and not much else. I got the usual instructions: take your clothes off, put them there, lay down here. Before she left, she pointed to a sheet and said: “This is for draping. If You Need It”. It took me about 1/1000 of a second to decide I did not need it. I undressed and relaxed face down on the table. When Jo Shirley returned the first words she spoke were: I get naked too”. Always a nice thing to hear! Then she undressed, no strip tease, nothing fancy, imagine watching your wife undressing for a shower. She stood at the head of the table and began to massage my shoulders while making small talk. Where are you from? Where do you live now? Etc. When I raised my head to reply, I found I was talking directly into her bush! The massage went well. I did some exploration of my own, discovered the D-Cups were man made. She did not seem to mind being groped, even spreading her legs a little to make it easier to finger that bush I talked to earlier. On the down side, she answered her cell phone every time it rang and spent a little too much time fiddling with her CD player. It was a good thorough massage, all parts were tended to. And a nice hand job at the end. She invited me to take a shower and I accepted. I gave her the $100 and it seems like I added an extra $20. We hugged and said goodbye. I have not seen her since. The thing with the cell phone irritated me. If I am Paying someone $100 I should get 100% of that someone's attention. Jo Shirley advertised as Shirley McKay for a year or so afterward then disappeared. Anybody else spend time on her table? Anybody else talk to that bush? Anyone know where is is these days? Please let me know.