Hi guys,

I'm new at visiting these types of establishments. Well, not new... for the last several years I was living offshore in a country that is more enlightened and prostitution is legal. There was no need to sneak around in the shadows to do the most natural of things that men and women do. There was no one legislating and enforcing their morality on me.

I recently went to a local establishment that was well reviewed. I was sure that I would get the Happy Ending as described in the reviews. Well, no dice. I tried to figure out what I was doing wrong to no avail. I even mentioned the posts found here and that may have scared them, I dunno.

I have been watching my mailbox but haven't received my Whoremonger Club Decoder Ring or instructions to the Secret Handshake or Password. :-)

Can someone please give myself and other neewbies a short primer on what to do to get what we want in the massage parlors?

Mucho Gracias!

Never mention anything about adds or reviews. Always say you have been there before and dont cover yourself up with a towel when you undress. I feel your pain have lived in Costa rica and Amsterdam before. When are we going to get our red light? Not fair!

I lived in Costa Rica for 7 years. The MP's are the bargain of the century - at least in the western hemisphere, but you already know that! Beautiful 20 somethings for 20 something bucks... almost brings a tear to my eye... My fav joint off Paseo Colon was 2 for 1 on Wednesdays :-)

Thanks for the 411. I'll never mention reviews again and act as if I have been there before, show my Little Willy and pre tip. I naturally have an intimidating look and look like a thug or a cop depending on your perspective. I have to work hard to get past that in many situations.

Pura Vida Mae!