This topic refers to Ocean Spa

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Okay, so I'm sure the panic-stricken look of terror that flashed in my eyes was quite evident about 5 seconds after I did a walk-in to conduct a preliminary once-over to assess where we might be on the fugliness-doable scale...

Lemme just put this out there - Over the years I've made my share of dumbass moves and regrettable errors and committed the standard sucker-move of getting talked into staying while dismissing my better judgment, okay?!?!

BUT! I certainly do N O T go outta my way to ADD to the longass list of screwups, so try as the 2 sweet, kinda ladies might, I simply wimped out and talked fast and couldn't get outta there fast enough.

Not to be unkind, okay?!?!

BUT! This was a 1st - at least at an AMP, which I swear somebody once told me stood for ASIAN Massage Parlor, but apparently I was wrong.

300 pound caucasian female greeted me and attempted to escort me into the massage room. Seeing the horrified look on my face, she quickly said other ladies are available, politely stepped aside, and I met Grandmother, or perhaps Great Grandmother. She was pretty, in that GILFy 65-year-old way, heels and full makeup and a nice dress she should wear out with her husband to dinner/dancing.

Guys? Fellas?? Gentlemen??? Have a heart. I utterly and totally wimped out - just couldn't do it, Bruthas! I backed on outta there like a kittycat backing out of a dark room where they sense badness afoot. I was babbling about just wanting to pick up a business card, I'd need to come back another time, asking prices - $30/half $50!?/HR. I was urged to go for the 30-minute "massage" and it seemed clear no real-deal legit solid effort at a relaxing massage was gonna happen.

I failed.

Brief aside/trip report on new gal at A.F.:

Ended up at Asian Flower and at Cici's urging met Meesa's replacement - Linda - nice, standard tatas access/solid massage/super HJ w/plentiful intense OMG ass-play that led to the general wildly spraying the entire area of operations.

$40/HHR - hell, I thought it was less than that, but perhaps something got lost in the translation because I got no change from the 2 Jacksons - + I left 2 more on the pillow and she was quite pleased and wanted me to return. Cici's heading early next month to China herself, where Meesa is now, for Chinese New Year and there'll be another new gal, likely 1 with greater facility with our own local dialect than Linda so she can handle the phone and greeting clients.

So. Back on-topic - honestly, I couldn't see spending 30 minutes in a cold room with 2 sweet, kind, overly-eager ladies neither of whom I was eager to see undress even a little bit. Okay, maybe Great Grandma, so what's THAT tellin' ya, Dudes!?

Anyone? Do we have a true road warrior tough guy who can handle an Ocean Spa TOFTT visit and not wimp-ass out the way yours truly did?!?!? What a gutless wonder!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


That was AWESOME!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH



KalAMP - shes all yours, baby!! You like the big tatas.... a 300 pounders bound to have large ones.... I nominate YOU!!!


Wheeeeeeeeee... Hahaha... Thanks Time... made me giggle forever!! Haha

YOU WANT ME TO BANG A FAT WHITE GIRL? Sorry, I divorced her 20 yrs ago. Never again. Now I only do asian woman. OMG, TIME are you OK, you could have been severely injured. TOFTT can be a dangerous sport You did the right thing... RUN FORREST, RUN

Oh C'mon!!! Be a SPORT!!!

It will bring back cool memories!!

More cushin' for the pushin' !!

I sacrificed my body seeing May at Cherry Blossoms. Once should be enough

I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but gotta say Time you were already there!!! You just needed to call the EMP support line 1-800-WTF-HELP for a little pep talk to help you get the job done!!

I'll try GG's BBBJCIMWS talents, if she takes her teeth out first. I had an indy on RB do that, but she wasnt old.

All you had to do Time is request baby powder.....lots of it....and roll her in it and you would have eventually found the hole.

I can see it now, one dude all covered in baby powder with a faraway look in his eyes.....call in the haz mat team....

I hear she loves Reverse cowgirl

I love it...GG GILFs...Lily Yin from Alhambra, come on down!
Time, you know 85s are the new 60s!
You missed out on a real gem..
you know how white ladies look younger than their age..
especially the big 300 lb. ones .
Can't wait to read the review...

. that's so funny! I saw an old asian gal once, told her to bring back another "younger" gal. She was nice and persuading but "old" is yuckie to me. =D

85 is good for one thing......a gum job

I don't know....the glass on the table with the teeth in them would be just to much.

Bag the head, lose the glass.

Good ol' Lily Yin. Very cheap but is it a wise choice . It depends on the hobbiest. FS if you can make it pass the "uncomfortable massage". This would be 1 step above the 50+ "Coco the Clown" in Los Angeles .

Great Granny Lucy is fun and down for anything it seemed. Had to go back, just couldn't take wearing the tag of WIMP any longer! Now I just feel a little silly! Review pending. And, yes, I was prepared, so this time when the large caucasian smiling individual greeted me, I didn't get that deer in the headlights panic look.

I hope you got the AARP discount!

Love the dialog guys. Personally though, the last time I did a caucasoid was 1969 in Australia. But thats another story. I'm with KAL, it is Asian, Latino or nothing. Time. I think that is one TOFFT challenge that will remain unanswered.

Thanks, Subicman and everyone. Appreciate your support and understanding. Still quite glad I met Lucy and just now finally got around to getting the review banged out.

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Spa-Sacramento-California.htm?task=review-read&id_review=33412#rev33412" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">http://www.eroticmp.com/Ocean-Spa-Sacramento-California.htm?task=review-read&id_review=33412#rev33412

HAPPY HOLIDAY WEEKEND, EVERBODY!!!